No more scary stuff

Today for some reason is hard. I am sure it is because of the season and what that was like in our house. Having the 4 kids in the house at times made for a pretty busy place. I miss that!!! I see kids living their lives and feel sad that Spencer doesn't get to take part in that. I am sure it is small potatoes to all he is taking part in where he is at but I don't get to see that. I know there isn't anything scary though!!! Missing him everyday, I love you Spencer!!

Spencer's 10th Birthday

Today is Spencer's birthday.

I have a funny story about the day he was born. I took the day off of work and headed down to Tacoma where Mark and Taunya were living. I hung out with Makenna and Robby for a few hours then headed over to the hospital at around 11am.

I sat there all day long, waiting. I had never been present for the birth of a niece or nephew and was determined to see this one through. I stayed there all day and long into the night. I had to work the next day and was staring at a long drive home, so I took off when it became clearly that he wasn't going to arrive anytime soon.

From what I learned the next day, the little guy popped out before I was even out of the parking lot. That was his style though, and he pretty much always did things on his own time and by his own rules.

The future

I'm not really sure what the future holds for this foundation. I know personally I have not felt led to pursue action. Its a combination of things really, but most importantly, I just don't fell like this is where God wants me to focus right now. I am not saying that this will never happen, but right now it isn't gaining much steam.

Its has only been a little over two months since we lost Spencer. Some days, it feels like I am doing fine. Other days, I feel like I just left the hospital after watching him take his last breath. God has blessed me with an amazing amount of grace throughout the ordeal. I just wonder when the time will come when I don't think about it everyday. Maybe that day will never come.

I remember one time while he was living with us, my brother Tom was in town for the weekend and April wanted us to put up some Christmas lights. Needless to say, when Tom and I get together for a project, things can get a little out of hand. We threw Spencer in the truck and headed out to the hardware store. $200 dollars worth of lights later we were on our way home. Spencer looked bored all day long watching us string lights. After hours of work we had the most elaborate display of holiday cheer anyone has ever seen, complete with a lit "Rudolph" on the peak of the roof.

Shortly before dark, I took Spencer down to McDonald's and grabbed him a happy meal. When we got home, his eyes went big as bowling balls when he saw all the lights. I threw a heavy jacket on him and we sat across the street in a lawn chair, eating chicken nuggets and staring at the lights. He didn't say a word or even try to get off my lap for about half an hour, a pretty long time for a two year old. About the time numbness set in April came home and was shocked by the amount of lights she saw. Spencer and I just grinned.

Its funny how little things like that stick in my mind about him. He had the best facial expressions of any kid I have ever met. Maybe $200 is a lot to spend on lights. Thinking back now though, it was a small price to pay for the memory that I have of the look on his face when we threw the switch.

Visit with the Senator

On Saturday, 8/30/08, Marcella and I went to have a visit with Senator Mike Carrell. In the casual environment of his living room we discussed items regarding CPS's case with Spencer and Taunya. I gave him the background of CPS's involvement with the family, and where we thought processes, policies, and laws could be improved or implemented to further safeguard the children and those adults caring for them. He appeared very interested in our cause and seems to be the go to guy in Olympia for matters such as these. His relationship with Marcella was apparent and established. I couldn't have asked for a better meeting with a Senator other than him having his full term to start this process. That in fact is the only glitch, the elections are in November and the outcome will determine if we need to approach another public official for support. Senator Carrell has requested I give him written permission to review Spencer's files and I am giving that to him. He additionally mentioned that if re-elected he would like to schedule a meeting with Marcella, Brandon, April, and myself in Olympia to discuss what we want to see happen within these agencies, DSHS and CPS.
To read more on the Senator visit: http://www.leg.wa.gov/senate/carrell/

TV Show

It looks like we might have the ball rolling in our efforts with the state.

A lady named Marcella, who is well versed in the laws and dealing with the state will be appearing on a tv show entitled "The Public Report." I believe she is discussing another case on this episode, but rumor has it whe will have a picture of Spencer with her and mention our case as well. Not exactly sure what it will entail but I am hopeful that some light will be shed. She has also been instrumental in getting us a meeting with Senator Mike Carroll later this month.

Here is the info on the show. "The Public Report" will air on August 22, 2008 at 10:00 am, It is playing on KTBW, or it may be listed as TBN. I am fairly certain this is channel 20 for the Seattle area. It will air an additional 4 times during the week - 12:30am Saturday, 8:30am Monday, 12:30am Tuesday, 12:30am Thursday.

Buy a CD to support Spencer's Gift

The worhsip pastor at our church, Matt Tipton has graciously pledged to donate $1 from every CD he sells to Spencer's Gift.

Matt is a gifted artist who wrote and produced the entire album himself. The CD's are on sale for only $10. For more info on how to purchase one, just shoot me an email.

We Got Bumped

The BJ Shea show had a special guest comedian in that reduced the Listener's On The Loose segment and we got bumped. The show is not on next Friday so we have re-scheduled for Friday the 22nd.

KISW Radio Link

You can listen to the radio spot tomorrow morning by clicking here.

On the upper right side of the homepage you will see a box to click that says "Listen Live." Once you click on listen live, you can choose one of two media players (the second one is easier and requires no download.) Simply click on it and the media player will launch.

I confirmed today that I will be on some time around 8:30.

Mailing Address

We now have a mailing address for donations.

Spencer's Gift
P.O. Box 14368
Mill Creek, WA 98082

Almost ready

The paperwork is nearly ready to be filed and we are in the process of setting up a bank account, a post office box, and getting a phone number.

Thank you to those that have already sent in donations. We are currently trying to raise about $1000.00 for start up costs, $750.00 of which goes to the IRS for our tax exempt status. We are not able to open our bank account or PO Box until we have our tax id number. If you or someone you know is comfortable donating without us having our tax exempt status yet, we would love to start accepting more donations. We have software set up to generate receipts and will send those out for your tax deduction purposes as soon as we get registered. If you would like to give, please E-mail me and I will give you donation instructions. Once we get our PO Box, I will post it on the site.

We also had a brainstorming session recently to gather ideas for fund raising, and discuss logistics of getting started. If you have any ideas for fundraising or other suggestions, we would love to hear them. Simply post a comment to this post or email us by clicking here.

Thanks again for all your support.

Update on radio time

I will be calling in during a segment called "Listeners On The Loose." This segment is dedicated to allowing listeners to call in and discuss any topic they choose. I have been told that they will be calling me at around 8:30am. I may be on hold for a little while but it will be worth it.

Brandon on the radio......

Awesome news.

I sent out emails to every morning radio talk show in the Seattle area, and one has responded!

On Friday, August 8th, I will be phoning in to The BJ Shea Morning Experience on 99.9 KISW. BJ Shea is the top rated morning show in the Seattle area and has a huge listener base. We have not figured out a time yet but I will post an update as soon as we have one. Being a rock music fan I have caught bits and pieces of his show over the years. I am sure there are some that would consider BJ a shock jock, but trust me, he is a very educated, well spoken person who is passionate on issues in regards to parental rights/welfare/CPS. I have heard topics on his show where he takes the system to task regarding children and parents rights, and he covers these topics in a very professional manner. I have found that I am in agreement with his opinions regarding these issues. This will be amazing exposure for the Spencer Foundation and I can't thank BJ enough for allowing me to phone into the show.

Searching the Unknown

I went into DSHS today and filed for all the documents pertaining to Spencer. This is completed by filing a form with the Children Administration office, at which time they mail it to the Seattle office who is in charge of this region. I was told that the release of documents can take 30 days or more. So there is no misunderstanding, I am doing this because I am uninformed of anything that has happened over the past 6 years. I don't have any idea what is in those files other than what I have been told. I believe that I have to have a professional look at these files and determine if any course of action legally should be pursued. I cannot make that decision as I am not versed in the legal manners of this type much less any others. I do feel it is necessary to do in light of the circumstances surrounding his death.

Part Two

Jaime Adame informed me this morning that part two will be posted tomorrow. He is going to give the foundation a plug in the article.

Many people have asked me why I have not posted any replies to the people who have been posting on the newspaper article. My answer is, whats the point?

My friend (R McGowan on the board) said it best when he said that people are never tougher than when they sit behind a keyboard. When you sit back and read what is written, you realize that these people are just begging for a reply, and look what happens when they get one. The next thing you know we have family members ripping at each other on a public forum when they should just pick up a phone and reach out to each other. This family needs to heal and the best way to do that is by coming together, not blasting each other. We need to realize that the reason why this happened will never be known. None of us can truly say what was going on in Taunya's head in the moments before she pulled the trigger. Even if we did know why, would it provide us any comfort? Doubtful. Its o.k. to be sad, angry, confused, hurt, or whatever it is you are feeling. In the wake of these feelings, our family has a chance to do something extraordinary. Lets try to make some change.

I would encourage all of you to stay off the public forum. If you want to comment or share a story or condolences, feel free to do it here where we can weed out the neighborhood gossip.

Mission Statement

Children's Administration Mission (directly from website)
The mission of the Children's Administration is first to protect abused and neglected children, to support the efforts of families to care for and parent their own children safely, and to provide quality care and permanent families for children in partnership with parents and kin, Tribes, foster parents and communities.

I just don't get it, the only way they supported my efforts to parent was take the stance that I couldn't and they never backed that up with anything substantial. Every course of action I took showed my ability to parent Spencer. They absolutely did not support my efforts to care for and parent my child. How come they didn't ask why Spencer wasn't receiving visits with his dad, that question alone would have revealed the nature of this case. It seems obvious they protected a mother's right to maintain custody, not protect the child.

Interesting points

Here are some things from the article that frighten me....

Another welfare official said CPS does not automatically remove a child if there is a parental suicide attempt, but welfare workers rely on mental health professionals to decide what to do. A suicidal parent is offered services such as counseling, said Sharon Gilbert, deputy director for field operations in the state Children's Administration, a division of the state Department of Social and Health Services.

Yes, I'm sure that is the best approach. Lets rely on someone who meets with the parent once or twice to "evaluate" them and not on the friends and family members who are living it on a daily basis.

Lambert-Eckel declined to give details about CPS' involvement with Hilliard and her son, citing the ongoing police investigation. She did confirm that CPS had involvement with the family in two places in the state, including the Wenatchee area.

Anyone else notice a pattern? So he is removed from her home in a different county, she moves, attempts suicide, their office is flooded with reports, and still nothing?

Gilbert said welfare authorities were not required to investigate because they had not provided services to the family within the previous year, but a formal investigation was expected to take place anyway to review how welfare authorities handled complaints and delivered services to the family.

Interesting. A child dies on our watch (or lack of watch) and since we haven't bothered to lift a finger in the past and things have been quite, we don't need to investigate....... but we will anyway. Interesting they say how they "delivered services to the family." I am aware of no services being delivered. What about how they handled complaints? We never even got a call back on one single complaint that we made.

These statements are extremely frustrating. I have left a message with Sharon Gilbert and will continue to do so everyday until she returns my call.

As far as my last quote about not blaming CPS, I change my mind.

Article is posted

The Wenatchee World has posted the first part of its two part follow up to the story. It can be read by clicking here.

Again, I want to express my thanks to Jaime. The article is well written and will be a useful tool in getting the ball rolling. I was hoping for a plug to this site and the foundation but that may still come in part two.

Wenatchee World

I just spoke to Jaime Adame (pronounce hi-me) from the Wenatchee World. He had a few follow up questions and things to clarify. He hopes the story will be out today.

Part one will be mainly facts regarding the issue with the state as well as things that were going on in Taunya's life. I also revealed to Jaime that before drugs, Taunya was a good and caring mom who took care of her children. He will be reporting that in the article as well. I know some of the details may be hard to read. The truth is sometimes hard, but I believe its the best way to get the story out there. In part two of the article Jaime has interviewed some experts on cases like this to give their opinions.

Even though I have not read the story, I want to take a quick moment to thank Jaime for being respectful and courteous with his questions during this difficult time. I know the media is often looked at in a negative light, but Jaime has been professional at all times during the writing of this article.

Media Coverage

It has been reported to me that there will be a 2-part follow up on this story published in the Wenatchee World beginning Tuesday, July 22, 2008. I am anxiously waiting.

CPS in a nutshell

Something came to memory today. It was a phone call I received while sitting in Spencer's room at the hospital. This may not be exact, but I will not exagerrate on what was said. It went something like this.

CPS Worker: Hi Mr Jones, this is (cant remember name) from CPS. Can we please have your phone number and address.
Me: Well you called me so you have my number, why do you want my address?
CPS: Dont worry sir, you arent under investigation.
Me: Thanks.
CPS: We feel like you may be a valuable resource as we piece our facts together about what happened.
Me: Really? Wow I bet I could help.
CPS: Thanks Mr. Jones, we know you can help us paint a clear picture of what has been going on with Spencer.
Me: I would love to sit down with anyone from the state at any time.
CPS: Thanks, we will be in touch.

I cant possibly begin to express how angry that call made me. Why dont they try opening a file? We have been making reports for years. Certainly one quick look at his file would paint a very clear picture of what was going on.

The biggest surprise of all? You guessed it, I havent heard from CPS yet. Apparently their investigation process isnt any better after a child is murdered as it is beforehand.

Clarification

A lot of people have asked me about Taunya and what she was thinking or going through when this tragedy occured. The short answer is, I have no clue. I have been kicking the longer answer around in my head for two weeks without being able to come up with anything that I can wrap my arms around as a reason to do this. But just to clear up any questions, our efforts in going after the State is not an attempt to smear my sister's name in the mud. Clearly, my sister had her demons and they were far too strong for her to overcome. Our effort is going to be focused on awareness and reform while helping people through traumatic situations.

That said, please dont be afraid to ask questions. We want to bring out all the facts as clearly as we can. Spencer was not the first kid this happened to, and sadly he will not be the last. Lets just hope we can make a difference somehow.

Round 1

The first media coverage of our fight with CPS will be tomorrow. The Wenatchee World interviewed me for about 45 minutes regarding our dealings with the state.

I have also been in contact with two local morning radio shows regarding Spencer. Hopefully at least one of them will turn into an interview.

Spencer Wayne Hepko

Welcome to the website for the Spencer Foundation.

For those that are not aware of all the details surrounding Spencer, you can read the article from the Wenatchee World by clicking here.

To give further details, the woman in the story, Taunya Hilliard is my sister and Spencer Hepko is my nephew. April and I were blessed to have Spencer live with us for a year when he was 2 years old. We didn't have kids then, and always considered Spencer to be our own.

We spent two days at Spencer's bedside at Harborview Medical Center before he passed away. During that time we were surrounded by love and support from our family and friends. After Spencer died, we began to think about the numerous amounts of families that are in similar situations that do not have the support that we did. Therefore, we decided to start The Spencer Foundation.

The goal of the foundation will be to raise funds to assist families in similar situations such as ours. In times of tragedy we hope to provide meals, bibles, financial relief with bills or lost time off of work, funeral expenses, counseling services, or any other support that a grieving family may need. We also hope to have an impact on the way that the State of Washington and Child Protective Services investigates and responds to claims of child neglect.

Please feel free to leave a comment or email me at The Spencer Foundation if you have any questions.